I have been thinking a lot about why I want to start a Substack/a subscription newsletter, who I would want to share it with and if I really can make such a commitment. The real answer is that I want to reconnect and engage with the world, I want to share it with anyone who might be remotely interested and I can tentatively say I would really like to commit, but unreliably. As many of you know and probably a lot of you don’t, I have been living with Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) - with the most significant symptoms of which are chronic migraines, chronic fatigue, gastrointestinal problems, and brain fog. My limitations have become truly absurd and I don’t think I will ever not think so.
Since my dreams of becoming a librarian have been put on hold or possibly completely destroyed in the dumpster fire that is my health - I have been thinking about ways to connect and share the things I love with people from the controlled environment of my apartment. Over the past few years I have truly learned what it is to be forced to embody “slow living” in a way I never could have imagined five years ago. I have had the luxury of an abundance of time, once again I think Baily put it best, “It was perplexing how in losing health I had gained something so coveted but to so little purpose.” I wish I could gift my time to you all - but alas, that is not how time works. I promise that is the end of the depressing part of my newsletters.
I have noticed that a major loss in the lives of those of us in our 30s and beyond is the loss of discovery, which we somehow left behind in our 20s before partners, kids and jobs became all consuming. It seems to be the natural order of things in the 21st century. By “discovery” I mean that daily discovery you experience through high school, college and maybe through your early to late 20s. The discovery of a new/old band, an artist, a book or movie. One of the things that is so magical about our world is there are endless amounts of creativity to discover and I have had the luxury of time and with that the renewed ability to discover and I would love to share that with you.
