Issue 23
unrelenting fatigue, romance novel/smut survey, Creation Lake, 4-Nations, skater girls in Cairo, and protect federal funding for public libraries
Someone has once again poured cement into my bones - I have no clue how it happened, but it’s happening. I have not felt this intense fatigue in a while, it happened when I did two (small) social events in two days.
Something I decided with the advice of my therapist is to stop saying things like “I have Mast Cell Activation syndrome, I don’t get it, and it is just absurd” - it exacerbates the narrative I already have constantly going on in my head that I am a hypochondriac and maybe if i tried a little harder I would make sense of my situation, solve whatever it happening, and be able to go back to life as a “normal human bean.” This is obviously a cognitive improvised explosive device and obviously not helpful. But I JUST CAN’T HELP COMING BACK TO THAT NARRATIVE, especially with cement in my bones. Because this kind of fatigue is ABSURD and fucking depressing. I had to delay watching the latest SNL because laughing makes my fatigue worse - how insane is that.
ANYWHO- Spring is here, which means gorgeous flowers (amazing) along with facial pain and insane swelling. What a time to be alive. I am planning for another rose bush this year - this time a shrub, hopefully the Vanessa Bell by David Austin. It’s the little things.
Side note: At the end of this edition I added a plea for those of you who are US citizens to write to their representatives to preserve the Institution of Museums and Library Services and not let it be pushed aside.
Another note: Would you be interested in a “Romance Novel/Smut” list in my bookshop? It would be updated pretty regularly. I read so much of them, I figured I could share the ones I really enjoyed. If you are- take the survey!
I have added all the books I have been reading to the bookshop, there are some I don’t include in the newsletter.
currently reading
Creation Lake by Rachel Kushner. I really enjoyed Kushner’s newest novel, it is a bit of a mental brain fuck around theories of history, society in general, and people’s motivations. I found myself getting caught up in the conspiracy theories that sounded a bit too rational and possibly almost in the realm of reality. This is another one with an unlikable unreliable narrator - a main character trait that I have come to really appreciate.
The Coin by Yasmin Zaher. This book reminded me a lot of Call Me Zebra - a similarly stateless, disconnected, and disoriented narrator. YET ANOTHER unreliable narrator in this one - but possibly one of the best ones I have read. Zaher explores the promise, disappointment and unjustness of the American immigration experience. She demonstrates how the tornado of luxury, education, filth, hypocrisy, extreme wealth, violence, personal trauma, generational trauma desire for cleanliness, lust and geopolitical conflict will leave an individual spinning.
Earth to Moon: a Memoir by Moon Unit Zappa. As some of you probably remember, Moon Unit Zappa is the daughter of the late Frank Zappa and she published a memoir- if you hadn’t heard. Her name kicked off the fad of unprecedented counterculture names. The book is a window into life with celebrity parents and it does not disappoint. Moon Unit does not hold back and bravely sheds light on her father’s dismissive and damaging behavior.
something short to read/watch/listen to
The Object Podcast from the xxxx on Wanda Gag (1893-1946), artist and children’s book author, and an OG cat lady. Her book, Millions of Cats (1928) is the oldest American picture book still in print. There is also this fun little documentary about the Wanda Gag House in Ulm, Minnesota. There was also just a Wanda Gag exhibition at the Whitney at the end of last year- more fun videos there.
This guy hired someone to slap him every time he used Facebook.
The guy behind the IG account @meetcutesnyc just started a new account for friends, @bestiesnyc and it makes me smile.
Joyce Carol Oats published her syllabus for her freshman seminar at Princeton, “The American Dream,” which she taught in 2020 and 2021. The syllabus includes books, short stories, films, and poems.
2025 Literary awards that have released longlists (the ones I follow- they always introduce me to writers that I normally would not know about):
The International Booker prize longlist. The list includes books from Suriname, southern India, Italy, Japan, Romania, and La Réunion.
The Women’s Prize for Fiction and Non-Fiction,
The Pen/Faulkner
Young female skateboarders, drifters, and motorbike riders in Cairo
Hockey
The much anticipated 4 Nations Face Off started on February 12 and lasted 10 days - a tournament between best NHL players from Canada, USA, Sweden, and Finland - and it did not disappoint. Since NHL players have not played in the Olympics since 2014, excitement was high for a best on best tournament between nations. Some signifiant and longstanding national rivalries. It has kept me in a good mood the entire week. It started with a legendary Canadian power play with Connor McDavid (or to many Canadians, Connor McJesus), Sydney Crosby, and Nate MacKinnon against Sweden in the first minute of the game - the game did end in a Canadian win in sudden death overtime. The first USA vs. Canada game was EPIC and began with three fights, gloves dropped, in the first nine seconds (thank you Tkachuk brothers and their group chat). The only dark spot on the tournament was the slaughter of the Fins by the Americans 6-1.
Enjoy this “nasty” power play by Nathan Mackinnon, Crosby and McDavid against Sweden
McDavid’s GLORIOUS goal in sudden death overtime against USA along with a taste of Jordan Bennington’s (Canada’s goalie) heroic contribution.
The trade deadline has past - which I followed very closely, lots of drama - and now the playoff spots are being finalized. It does not look like the Kraken will be making the playoffs, though they have been playing soooooo much better after the trade deadline. Fingers crossed that the Minnesota Wild and the Edmonton Oilers will make the playoffs - which last 4 weeks! The regular season lasts from September to April (82 games) and then if you are interesting this is the format for the playoffs. It makes sense that the Stanley Cup is the hardest trophy to win.
Side note: If you are information about how NHL stats are collected, check out NHL EDGE - I think even if you have no interest in hockey, this is pretty neat.
some more visual enrichment
I try really hard to not put anything political in this newsletter - I feel like it is everywhere else and it is good to have places to escape to and not be inundated. But, I think think the subject of libraries is central to this newsletter and to my life. Our public library systems are my favorite thing about my country, the USA. I think I can safely say they are the most comprehensive in the world. The fantastic library systems across this country are the only institution that unfailingly fight for the idea of the “American Dream” - that anybody can make something more of themselves and find the success they dream about. It gives individuals the tools to “pull oneself up by ones’s bootstraps.” American libraries fill many of the holes of our pathetic excuse for social safety nets and truly cares, at every level, for EVERYONE, cradle to grave. Libraries are able to serve everyone, from any background - those who have money and those who don’t. Librarians don’t just talk the talk, they walk the walk. The gutting of the Institute of Museum and Library Services by the Trump administration is an abomination. Please, don’t let libraries be washed away in this current chaotic and cruel storm we find ourselves in. For those of you who are US citizens- please contact your representative.
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The Vanessa Bell is gorgeous! I have to wait a few years to let nature clean out any chemicals that may have been used in the yard at my new house, but I cannot wait to start my own vegetable and flower gardens. I will live vicariously through you until then!
Sent the letter to my representatives about the libraries!