Distress Tolerance
Crisis Survival Skills
I have been thinking about how to start this week’s edition of The Unreliable Newsletter and how to address the extreme trauma that has dominated every newsfeed and social media post this week - I know many of you have also been greatly impacted, some more directly than others. The three major strategies that have without a doubt saved my life over the past two years are humor, escapism and reminding myself of the beauty that surrounds me- even if it is just on a page or a screen. I have spent HOURS laughing at my own jokes in between sobs and raging in my therapists office about the senselessness of my situation. I have listened to hundreds of romance novels over the past few years and watched just about every episode of ‘90 Day Fiancé’ and a number of the spinoffs - except the spinoffs that take place after the 90 days, because that’s just depressing. I have checked out dozens of art books from the library and collected a large number of images on Pinterest. I think we all need a break from the intensity of the week and hopefully I can make you laugh a little, escape a bit and share with you a little beauty that has filled me up in the past.
Some Distraction
Instead of sharing some of the most jaw dropping scenes from ‘90 Day Fiancé,’ because I know that is an acquired taste, I will introduce you or remind you of another kind of hot mess that keeps me endlessly entertained - the rise and fall of some of the most notorious “unicorn” tech startups, this week’s deep dig was inspired by Marisa Meltzer’s new book, Glossy: Ambition, Beauty, and the Inside Story of Emily Weiss's Glossier. As far as corporate scandals go, it is extremely tame and I find Emily Weiss not very interesting. The disruption of the beauty industry and the way in which Glossier was built is probably the most interesting aspect of Meltzer’s book. This might seem like a jump to most of you, but in my ADHD mind it made perfect sense - Meltzer’s book made me wonder about the most enthralling startup scandals in the past decade - many of which I followed as they were happening because I love other people’s drama. Many of you will think of Elizabeth Holmes and Adam Newman, but my favorite corporate drama in the past decade is the 2014 Tinder sexual harassment lawsuit against CEO Sean Rad and the company's co-founder Justin Mateen by VP Whitney Wolfe - as Gawker put it so elegantly, “This is definitely worse than your worst Tinder horror story” The story has everything you could possibly want in a scandal - sex, backstabbing, techbros showing their true colors, work place romance gone bad, racism, sexism, and the best part about it is no one dies and the woman goes on to start her own billion dollar company. The complaint reads like a reality TV show and they didn't even need producers egging them on.
Some Dream Lands
Poppy Field in a Hollow near Giverny
Claude Monet (French, 1840–1926)
1885
An instagram world that I wouldn’t mind jumping into is that of interior designer Luke Edward Hall. It is a mix of old world fantasy England and sometimes Europe with a bit of a modern twist.
“This Beautiful Fantastic” is a favorite of mine, it is not the greatest of films, but it makes me very happy whenever I watch it. It has a great cast and lovely characters.
Some Humor
In honor of SNL starting their 49th season tomorrow, Saturday October 14, I thought it was a good time to revisit one of my favorite sketches and the genius that is Kate McKinnon
Another favorite comedian of mine is Mo Amer, who created the show “Mo” about a Palestinian refugee living in Texas. I highly recommend. It is on Netflix
I would like to end this week’s newsletter with a Jewish comedian, the great Gilda Radner and Steve Martin dancing into the weekend.
One last thing before you go - many of you have asked to pay for my newsletter, and that means so much to me. I have set it up so you can either pay through Substack or buy me a coffee - which is a one time payment option. Please do not feel obligated to pay, I am so appreciative to connect with you and share some stuff that will make your day just a little better.